The self is not formed in isolation. It reveals itself through interaction, reaction, and reflection—much like music reveals its beauty when different notes meet. Every person we encounter becomes a quiet mirror, gently drawing out responses that show us who we are beneath routine and intention. Attraction, resistance, comfort, and tension are never random; they are the mind responding to rhythm—memory, instinct, and inheritance playing in harmony.
December arrives like a slow, soulful track at the end of a long playlist. Time softens. Routines loosen. We gather with family, friends, and familiar strangers, and suddenly we are face-to-face with versions of ourselves we may have outgrown—or forgotten.
In these moments, happiness does not demand answers; it invites awareness. While happiness lives within us, understanding it requires paying attention to how we move through people and spaces—from instant connections that feel like a favorite song to moments of discomfort that ask us to listen more closely. When we observe our responses without judgment, we create choice—the freedom to respond with grace, to nurture healthier connections, and to grow into individuals who meet love, change, and freedom with ease.
People Teach You About Yourself
True happiness begins within, but its clarity often comes through others. “I just saw this person for the first time, and I liked them—I don’t know why.” As Kenyans say, damu zilielewana. This is the brain speaking in its own quiet language, drawing from stored memories about how you respond to certain energies—how someone looks, speaks, moves, or carries themselves.
These reactions are not only shaped by your personal experiences but also by deeper imprints passed down through generations. How you respond to people is how your mind has learned to protect, connect, and express desire. The beautiful part? You can retrain it. You can choose responses that leave you lighter, calmer, and more aligned—while still honoring fairness, boundaries, and mutual respect.
Freedom and the Five Love Languages
Freedom sounds simple, yet it is one of the most luxurious experiences we can offer ourselves and others. Human nature leans toward control—what people should do, how they should love, who they should be. But happiness flows more easily when choice is present. This is especially true in love.
We speak of the five love languages—words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch—but true fulfillment comes from having the freedom to choose how much of each we desire. Every person’s rhythm is different. Every way of living is valid. While life is imperfect and compromise is inevitable, being in spaces that allow honest expression and gentle negotiation creates relationships that feel supportive, elegant, and emotionally safe.
Change Is Constant
You are a second older than you were a moment ago. Just as clouds reshape themselves without effort, life is always in motion. The brain may resist sudden or exhausting change, yet it welcomes growth that feels intentional and meaningful.
One of my favorite financial books warns against extreme decisions, reminding us that desires evolve and rigid choices often lead to regret. The same wisdom applies to relationships and personal growth. When we teach our minds to expect change rather than fear it, we move through life with more grace. Not perfectly—but with enough awareness to adjust, flow, and continue choosing happiness in whatever season we find ourselves in.
Remember, self love is not selfish…
Beautiful words. These are very profound thoughts, but everyone will understand them in their own way, and in the end, many will confuse conscious self-love with pure egoism.
Thank you for this thoughtful reflection Juliet. You’re right, these ideas can be interpreted in many ways. Perhaps that tension is part of the work itself: learning to distinguish conscious self-love, which expands our capacity to love others, from egoism, which contracts it. When self-love is rooted in awareness rather than fear, it doesn’t isolate us; it grounds us.